#14: The Quiet Parts of Transformation That No One Talks About
For today's episode, I wanted to talk about some of the quieter moments that happen during transformation. These quiet parts of transformation are not talked about as often, and yet they are some of the most pivotal transformational points in your journey. Change can feel hard and scary sometimes, but understanding more about the process and especially about the quiet parts of transformation can help to ease some of the stress and allow you to enjoy the process.
1. Slowing Down Is Part of Your Way Forward – The Quiet Parts of Transformation
The first quiet part of transformation that I wanted to share is about as you start this process, you're going to realize that slowing down is part of your way forward. And you'll begin to crave that slowing down. You'll begin to crave that simpler life in different ways, because you need to undo from all of the things that you've been rushing and pushing to do.
More than likely, you're someone that has always been very high achieving and striving for more, which is great, which is really great. I've been like that, and I still am like that to a degree. You realize there's something different with all of it, and you realize that as you slow down, you get more clarity. You get to undo some of those things, some of those old beliefs and ways of working that aren't supportive to you anymore. And it really changes your mindset and shifts what's most valuable to you and where you really want to spend your time, where you want to focus your energy, and how you move forward with your life. It's a really interesting place to be.
I remember when it started happening to me, I was like, jeez, you know. I back when I had my product business, and I went to the and I went to NPR’s How I Built This Summit. This was, I think, the year before COVID. NPR did a summit for founders. It was amazing. I saw Sara Blakely on stage. Back in that version of Mary, I thought that my goal and my dream was to build a multimillion dollar product business. And fast forward quite a few years, and that's not the case. That's not the Mary that I am today. And there's nothing wrong with that. That was great. It served me in many, many ways. But as I started to realize and as I started to tune into myself, I realized that that wasn't really truly my dream. Or it was at one point, and I just changed so much that it kind of faded to the side.
I realized that I don't want to be pushing. I don't want to be forcing. I don't want to be climbing to build this big thing. Actually, that's not what I crave and need most in my life. I want the deep relationships. I want to work with people personally and see their transformations. At that time, I did it was challenging for me having a product business because I felt disconnected from the customer in a way. And, yes, I did the marketing and all those things, but it was really about I wasn't face to face supporting them.
I realized a lot about myself through that process. And as I started changing and working through these things, becoming more of myself, there was a lot that happened in the slowing down. There was a lot that happened in the simplicity of it all. And that goes with my own style too. I am a projector in human design, and energetically, I'm more in alignment when I'm focused on quality over quantity and building those deep relationships and having those really potent magnetic experiences. And that's part of how I operate and the more that I learn that and lean into it, the better it feels to me. There is really something deep in slowing down and seeing how simplicity wants to show up in your life in some way.
2. Listening to Your Body – The Quiet Parts of Transformation
The second quiet part of transformation is listening to your body. Once you start listening to your body, you're going to realize that it's been talking to you all along. You just weren't really listening to it. So, what do I mean by this?
When we stop running, when we stop pushing, when we stop forcing, our body usually tells us to stop doing that. For example, for me, before I left my corporate job, and I woke up one day with so much pain, so much jaw pain in my mouth. It was incredible really, and I had to go get it checked out with the dentist. And came to realize I was grinding my teeth at night, and it was a marker for me to say, hey, this isn't working. You're not paying attention. You're not listening. So here, the body's going to give you some pain so that you start to wake up. That's how I see it.
I'm sure for you whatever you're working on as you slow down as you go inward, you will see, you will hear, you will start to listen with your body that it's telling you things. It's telling you things that it agrees with. It's telling you things that it doesn't agree with. And as you practice listening to that more and more and more, you're going to build your intuition, and you're going to feel the strength come from within you and have more of that knowing and that alignment right away because you will feel it. You will sense it from your body.
Your body actually responds first. It responds before your mind. But when you ignore your body, the mind takes over, and you can miss those cues. You can miss the cues from your body. As you start to pay attention, you will realize that it's been talking to you all along. And the more you honor it and trust it and pay attention to it in this process, the farther you will go, the deeper and more transformational the work will be for you because you'll be tuning into not working from the mind, but working really from the body, which is where your power center is. So it's really, really impactful.
3. The Seismic Shift in Your Internal World – The Quiet Parts of Transformation
The third quiet part of transformation and change is how you start to feel this seismic shift inside of you before you see it reflected in your outside world.
This is really as you start to shift and change things for yourself, as you start slowing down, becoming more in tune, as you start listening to your body and paying attention to it, you will start to change things inside of you.
Change doesn't actually happen from outside of you first. It happens in your internal world. Your thoughts will start to change as you work on reprogramming negative thought patterns, as you work on strengthening your own intuition, your mind body connection, focusing on gratitude, reframing things, learning and trusting the process, you're going to shift truly within your body first. And there's going to be this really weird uncomfortable period where you feel different inside, but outside doesn't look like it's changed at all.
It's a really strange place to be because you can kind of feel like you're going a little crazy. Not going to lie. This has happened to me before. You kind of you feel so different on the inside you say oh my gosh. I'm so grateful for all these things in my life look at these synchronicities that are happening. I have all these experiences. And, wow, I'm grateful for these changes that have occurred because it's really brought me to this point. All of this big energy inside to fill you with more joy, more love, more purpose in your own way.
You're going to be looking around, and you're going to go to, let's say, dinner parties or events or whatever. And you're going to say, but what's happening here? This isn't matching. I don't want to talk about these things. I want to talk about how much change is happening in these powerful pieces that are impacting my life and all this kind of stuff. You want to talk about the things that you're passionate about and how you're navigating what's next, and rebuilding yourself. And it's going to it's this weird in between for a while where you can feel a little bit in limbo because you feel this strength and inner knowing inside. But, again, the outside world is just kind of moving on. People are continuing on their way, and you feel different, but it's not really reflected outside. So that is a place that can feel really uncomfortable, and the little bit of a and shift and change your external world. It just needs a little time to catch up.
4. When Your Internal and External Worlds Merge Together – The Quiet Parts of Transformation
That leads us into the fourth quiet part of transformation which is when eventually your life catches up, that internal catches up with your external world, and they merge. And you feel like you're in a new place because you've gone through this process of shedding things, of changing your outlook. Maybe you've grown out of certain relationships and replace them with new ones, different ones with people that are more aligned to you and where you're at right now.
As you do all of that, you'll start to look around and see, oh my gosh, actually, yes, my life is different in so many ways. And now it's reflected in this external world. I have built something different for myself. And it's a really magical place to be, I will say.
I felt that strongly for myself when I when we moved from The US to France about three years ago now. It was a big transition, a big change, and I felt a shedding and a letting go of a lot of things, especially because I had the physical distance to go with it, right, from the move. And over these years, as I've built new things for myself, as I've gone deeper into my practices of walking in nature and brain body exercises and becoming in more alignment with my work and all of these things, I've been able to now look around a few years into it and say, hey, actually, I am building this life for myself that matches so much more to who I am now, that feels so much more in alignment with who I am inside.
I'm telling you this because the day will come when those two do match up. It might seem a little bumpy. It might not always seem so clear. But as you start to look around, you'll see that, Hey, actually, yeah, I have these relationships. I have these practices and habits and supportive routines for myself. I've changed something with my work or my job that feels more in alignment. Whatever the area is, you will start to see that catch up. And when that happens, you will feel like you're starting to create from a different place. When you have your internal world shifted, now matching now your external world is matching that internal world. You kind of have this new blank slate, this new canvas to start from for your creations to say, I'm a different person now. And I can choose, and I can do things differently for myself, and I can create in a different way. And actually, what is it that I really want?
That will then get you having more changes and more shifts within yourself. It becomes this cycle of okay now I'm shifting something again internally and now my external world is going to catch up and then shift again internally and then the external world catches up. And so you just go into deeper and deeper layers of this transformation depending where you're at.
You'll see different pieces and parts of you come online and your intuition and just knowing your direction and feeling more sure of where you are and making decisions from a clearer, more grounded place, all of this keeps evolving to the next layer, to the next level each and every time you put yourself out there in this way.
Starting with that blank slate and that canvas, you can say:
Who am I now?
What am I what am I using as my foundation?
Where am I building to next?
What am I creating next?
Really giving yourself permission to do that in whatever way you want. Whatever way you want. Because at the end of the day, you're creating this life for you. You're creating this life for you. And yes, there are other players and pieces and parts into your experience, but this is all about your own self growth and your journey and becoming more of who you truly are before society and culture and all these things layered their expectations on you. So enjoy it.
Enjoy this process of becoming more of yourself. And as you do that, as you embrace it, it just becomes more and more fun along the way. And you kind of become this strange version of a, I say, like a glutton for punishment because you're like, okay, bring me the pain of that next level because I want to go deeper. And I want to transform in a new way. And I know there's something else out there for me to unlock. And each and every time you will get that if you keep asking.
Conclusion on the Quiet Parts of Transformation
These are some of the quiet parts of transformation that are really integrally tied to the full process, to you becoming more of who you are, to you stepping into your own version of your alignment, whatever that looks like. And there are things that I find are not covered so much, but are really critical.
If you can pay attention to these quiet parts of transformation, lean into them in some way, maybe observe for yourself which one resonates the most right now.
If you are wanting to dive deeper into this material:
Take a look and see which of these four areas feels like your current phase in the journey.
How are you showing your and how are you showing up for yourself in that process?
Whichever part of the process that you're in because you're just going to keep going and going because it's a circle so you get to come back around. So Please take that for what it's worth. I hope you find it helpful for today. This is really such a big part of the work that I do, and I'm so happy to share it with you
I hope you found this information helpful for where you are right now and supportive to your journey and your process. If you want to take this work deeper with me, you're invited to check out my Human Design Readings with Voxer coaching support, and my one on one coaching containers as well. I'm here as a guide and a mentor to support more people in showing up and doing the work to become more of who they really truly are, live more in alignment so we can all be a part of this journey in a new and different way.
Thank you so much for listening today. I truly appreciate your support. If you have any questions for me or want to reach out, please don't hesitate. All of my contact information is in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening, and have a great rest of your day. I'll talk to you next week.
Resources mentioned:
If you’d like to connect further about unlocking the next step in your personal development journey, please feel free to reach out. I'm on LinkedIn and Instagram. I'm also on Voxer at @MaryClavieres.
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Previous Podcast Episodes to Listen to:
Spring Reset: How to Reinvent Yourself
The Power of Creative Self Expression in Everyday Life
Transformation Tip: Be Willing to Do Things Differently
4 Keys to Create Lasting Change
3 Things that Hold You Back in Life and Business
3 Simple Ways to Reconnect and Embrace the Present Moment
How to Get Different Results in Life & Business Using the Results Pyramid
How Small Steps Lead to Big Changes
How to Overcome the Fear of Making Decisions
The Easiest Way to Practice Gratitude in One Minute a Day
