#74: Emotions as Messengers: Your Guide Back to Yourself [Summer of the Self Series]

Hello and welcome to Find Yourself, Change Your Life. I’m your host, Mary Clavieres. This podcast is here to support you in rediscovering yourself and becoming the leader of your life, however you want that to look. 

For today’s episode, we are continuing the Summer of the Self series and we’re talking about emotions as messengers. 

This series is meant to be a compilation of short and sweet episodes to support you over the summer months in reconnecting to yourself, with each episode about a topic that connects to mind, body, soul, how you show up in life, connecting to your purpose, all of these things that are meant to support you with where you are and where you’re going. 

Emotions Are Telling You Something 

I have come to realize over the years, for me especially, that emotions are really messengers and they are telling you something. It’s similar to how when your body speaks to you, your emotions also speak to you. And they kind of give you this little light or little signal to say, hey, take a look here, what’s happening? 

It’s not to say that emotions are bad or that we shouldn’t have them. It’s more to say that you can use them as a way to identify what’s working and what’s not working. And if you allow yourself to do that, you’ll be able to work through things more quickly. 

All the emotions, whether they are happy or sad, or have joy or anger, etc., can all serve as a barometer for you. Similar to when you’re listening to your body like we talked about last week, and listening to those signals so that you know when you’re overdoing it. The emotional aspect of things can help you to identify, okay, where are you at with your mind and where are you at with connecting that with your body? 

When the Same Emotion Keeps Coming Up 

If there are certain emotions that keep coming up in a certain way consistently, I would definitely invite you to take a look at that and ask… why is that always coming up? 

For example, if I get frustrated every day after school pickup. Parenting is always an easy example to use. So if I pick them up from school and I can tell every day by that six o’clock hour, we’re doing dinner, I’m getting frustrated. They don’t want to do homework, it’s all of these things. And then I get mad. 

I can take a look to say, okay, well, what’s underneath that for me? How am I not being resourced enough that it’s causing me to have this reaction and this emotion? And what do I want instead? 

Also identifying, well, I don’t want to be angry. I want to actually enjoy this time with my girls. I want to be able to support them with their work and have these things figured out without having it feel like these two to three hours in the evening are just super intense and not pleasant. 

A Real Life Example: Listening to Music While Cooking 

So then I could take a look at what I’ve actually done, because when I’m cooking I like to have music or be listening to something. But I realized that if I’m trying to do that and the girls are asking me about homework or something, it’s actually agitating me to be listening to something and then being interrupted from it. 

It’s too much going on for me at the same time and that’s something that I recognized. 

And it might sound really easy and simple, but I have to say, there was a long time that I didn’t recognize that. I didn’t realize that oh, actually, I’m setting myself up to be frustrated more often because I’m trying to do my thing over here with cooking and listening to something, and then I have these interruptions. Now I can see it so differently. But before I didn’t. 

So that’s something that I changed. I also try now to do meal planning, or we try to figure things out in advance so that I’m not always cooking when we’re trying to also do the schoolwork. It depends on the day, what we had planned in terms of food, what’s in the fridge or not. There’s so many things that go into all of that. 

How Am I Playing a Role in This Story? 

I think this is what happens a lot for people. It’s easy to blame other people and say, oh, well, they’re making me feel this way, or they did this so I feel this way. But you can also take a look to say, well, how am I playing a role in this story? And what are the things that I can do differently? 

So, for example, with me, I can stop listening to something that I have to really concentrate on while I’m trying to do these other things, because it makes me agitated when I get interrupted from them. That’s not the time to be doing that if I want a different dinner time scenario. 

It’s taking a look at each of those sides and being willing to have that conversation with yourself and being honest about it to say, actually, okay, we can do something different here. I can show up differently here. 

Releasing Emotions from the Body: Dahn Jon Tapping 

The second piece I want to briefly bring up, and I’ve talked about this on the podcast before too, is a tool you can use for releasing emotions from your body. 

There’s the one part of being able to identify where emotions are coming from, how they show up in your mind and in your body. There’s a whole other part about the emotions that are stored in our bodies that never get released. 

And something that I love for that is called Dahn Jon tapping. This is tapping on your danjeon area, which is about two fingers below your belly button. 

I’ll put a link in the show notes to a quick YouTube video about it. I talk about it in Mind Body Connection Unlocked. It’s a tool that I love to use for myself and that I tell my clients about all the time as well. 

There’s a premise and a concept by Ilchi Lee that surrounds water up, fire down. We’re usually walking around with hot heads and cool bellies and we actually want to be having a cool head and a warm belly, which is then operating from our power center in the center of our body. 

So Dahn Jon tapping helps you kind of get that fire, that heat out of your head and brings it back into your center. 

Exercise and workouts can also be very supportive in releasing those emotions stored in the body. If you work out every morning or every evening, it kind of helps you reset. Anything like that is great for releasing some of that tension, some of that pressure, some of those emotions that are stored in there and resetting yourself. 

Your Invitation for This Week 

Your invitation for this week is to take a look at emotions and how you work with them for yourself so that you can guide yourself back to yourself. So that you can show up in ways that you want and follow what’s most aligned to you. 

The invitation is to take a look in those areas and see what you come up with. 

  • When you notice an emotion coming up repeatedly, get curious: what’s underneath it? How am I not being resourced enough? What do I want instead? 

  • Ask yourself honestly: how am I playing a role in this story, and what could I do differently? 

  • If you want to explore releasing emotions from your body, try Dahn Jon tapping or movement. 

Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for listening. Next week we’re going to talk about energy management. The Summer of the Self series continues and I’m so happy that you’re here. 

Frequently Asked Questions 

Q: What does it mean that emotions are messengers? A: It means that instead of just reacting to emotions or trying to suppress them, you can use them as information. A recurring emotion like frustration, anger, resentment, or anxiety is pointing to something in your life that isn’t working or isn’t aligned. The emotion is the signal. Getting curious about what’s underneath it is how you find out what needs to change. 

Q: How do I figure out what an emotion is trying to tell me? A: Start by noticing patterns. Is this emotion coming up at the same time of day, with the same people, or in similar situations? Then ask: what’s underneath this? How am I not being resourced enough right now? And what do I actually want instead? Also worth asking: how am I playing a role in this story, and what could I do differently? 

Q: Is this a replacement for therapy? A: No. As Mary clearly states in this episode, this is not a replacement for therapy or medical advice. It’s simply an invitation to explore emotions as part of your personal growth journey. If you’re working through significant emotional challenges, please seek professional support. 

Q: What is danjeon tapping? A: Dahn Jon tapping is a practice of tapping on the Dahn Jon area, which is approximately two fingers below your belly button. It’s rooted in the concept by Ilchi Lee around “water up, fire down” and the idea that we often walk around with too much heat/energy in our heads and not enough in our power center (the belly). Tapping on this area helps bring that energy back down into the body and can be used to release stored emotions. Mary also talks about this in her book, Mind Body Connection Unlocked

Q: What is the “water up, fire down” concept? A: It’s a concept from Ilchi Lee’s work, the idea that we tend to carry too much mental and emotional energy in our heads (hot heads) and not enough warmth in our core (cool bellies). The ideal state is a cool, clear head and a warm, energized belly, operating from your power center in the middle of your body. Danjeon tapping is one way to work toward that balance. 

Q: Can exercise help with releasing stored emotions? A: Yes. Mary mentions in this episode that exercise and workouts can be very supportive for releasing emotions stored in the body. Regular movement helps reset the nervous system and release tension, pressure, and stored emotional energy. 

Q: What is the Summer of the Self series? A: It’s a summer podcast series from Find Yourself, Change Your Life with short weekly episodes and a reflection prompt or tool each week. This is Episode 6 covering emotions as messengers. Previous episodes covered awareness, conditioning, the roles we play, the not good enough voice, and trusting your body. Coming up: energy management, spiritual signs, outgrowing relationships, and the closing episode. 

Q: What comes next in the series? A: Next week is Episode 7, Energy Management: Listening to What Drains You and What Lights You Up. 

Mind-Body Connection Unlocked Book:

My new book, Mind Body Connection Unlocked, is now officially out in the world! Order your copy and dive into how mind and body alignment can support lasting change in your life.  

Get Your Copy of Mind Body-Connection Unlocked

Connect with Mary here:

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-clavieres-19917a7/

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Listen to the Summer of the Self Series:

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#75: Energy Management: Listening to What Drains You and What Lights You Up [Summer of the Self Series]

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#73: Trusting Your Body: How to Read Your Body’s Signals and Come Back to Yourself [Summer of the Self Series]