#36: How to Create Change That Doesn’t Shock Your System
Today, I want to have an honest conversation about a topic that keeps coming up in my world: how to create change in a way that actually lasts and supports your wellbeing, rather than shocking your system.
But before we get into it, a quick thank you to everyone who has supported my new book, Mind Body Connection Unlocked. Your messages, celebrations, and photos have made this such a memorable life milestone. If you haven’t grabbed your copy yet, it’s available on Amazon!
Ok, let’s get started! If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’ve felt pressured by coaches, programs, or social media trends… to take drastic action in order to “transform.” Maybe you’ve seen things like three-day fasts, cold plunges, or boot camps that promise rapid results. Maybe you’ve wondered if this is how to create change and become the best version of yourself.
I get it. We’re surrounded by these messages that in order to create meaningful change, we need to disrupt ourselves, push past every limit, or even subject ourselves to discomfort and pain as a badge of honor. But do we really need to shock our bodies, minds, and nervous systems in order to create lasting transformation? I don’t think so. In fact, I believe gentle, self-directed change is just as powerful (if not more) than the extreme tactics we’re so often sold.
Where the Conversation on How to Create Change That Doesn’t Shock Your System Started
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend who had just started a leadership coaching program through work. They were selected as part of a high-potential global cohort, and right at the start, the external coach leading the program asked the entire group to fast for three days. The rationale? To demonstrate mind over matter, to watch your thoughts, to find your inner strength by collectively enduring discomfort. Classic shock-the-system territory.
Of course, as someone passionate about coaching and gentle transformation, I was instantly intrigued and, honestly, a little frustrated. The more we talked, the more I realized how much these approaches bother me. What’s the point of setting people up to feel discomfort and deprivation, especially in a work setting, in the name of change? What about honoring each person’s background, history, or current needs? Is this really how to create change effectively, or is it just another way to manufacture trauma and call it growth?
And then, just to underline my point, after the fasting came the suggestion to take an ice bath. Cue the eye roll again. I just thought: Seriously? Are we still doing this?
Why We Don’t Need to Shock Ourselves – How to Create Change
Let’s get this straight: Sometimes, yes, a dramatic event can be the catalyst for change. Life transitions, losses, and big moves often force us into transformation. And sure, a cold plunge or a fast, if you choose it intentionally, can be a meaningful experiment for some people. But to make these practices a requirement for growth or leadership?
That’s not the answer.
We are constantly bombarded with messages that in order to figure out how to create change, we have to do something extreme or push ourselves to the limit. The stories that go viral, the programs that promise big results, are almost always the ones with the most drama or extremes: fast for three days, dive into an ice bath, tear down your routines in 24 hours. But the truth is, you can absolutely create meaningful change without overwhelming your system or following a one-size-fits-all approach.
There’s so much more power in tuning into yourself and finding how to create change that fits your values, your needs, and your timing.
Real Change Looks Different For Everyone – How to Create Change
Let me share a little about my own story: Moving from the U.S. to France was a huge step for me and my family. It was a massive life change, filled with completely new landscapes, routines, and cultural norms. But here’s the thing: Even within a major transition like that, I had control over how I navigated change. I could decide which things to prioritize now and which could wait; I could check in with my body and mind and honor the pace that felt right for me and my family.
Three and a half years later, I’m still adjusting, still evolving, but it’s not because I shocked my system into transformation. It’s because I listened, adapted, and gave myself the grace to grow in my own way and at my own pace.
When we talk about how to create change, it’s important to remember that you always have a choice. You get to choose methods and mindsets that feel supportive and aligned, not harsh or traumatic.
Three Key Ways To Create Change (Without the Shock) – How to Create Change
If you’re ready to think differently about how to create change… especially lasting change… here are three strategies I use in my own life and with my clients:
1. Identify What’s Truly Important to You
This is your starting point. Before you try to overhaul everything or sign up for the latest viral challenge, stop and ask yourself: What really matters to me right now? What do I want to protect, nurture, or grow? Maybe it’s your family, your health, your sense of peace, or a new professional goal.
Knowing what’s important anchors you when discomfort inevitably pops up. It keeps you grounded and intentional as you make choices about how to create change. Values exercises, journaling, or simply reflecting on where you want to be in a few months can be powerful ways to get clear about your priorities.
2. Know Your Design And Trust What Works For You
One of my favorite tools in coaching is Human Design. I love it because it reveals how your unique energy operates. Human Design shows you how you best make decisions, how your energy naturally flows, and how to bring your mind-body connection back into the forefront.
When you understand your own energetic blueprint, it changes the game for how to create change. Instead of mimicking the latest trend or pushing past your unique needs, you learn to trust what actually feels right. This doesn’t mean you ignore inspiration from others, but you approach everything from a place of alignment and self-trust—rather than lack or fear of missing out.
For some people, a dramatic gesture might feel good. For most, slow, sustainable shifts are the real secret. Human Design gives you permission to honor those natural rhythms.
Want to know more? I now offer Human Design readings, including special sessions for business owners to help you align your work, offers, and messaging with your own blueprint. If you’re interested in a business focused reading, learn more and book here.
3. Take Small Steps and Celebrate Every Win
Last but not least, remember this: How to create change is about progress, not perfection. While social media celebrates the “big wins,” most of our growth comes from the small, everyday steps that move us closer to where we want to be. Give yourself permission to celebrate even the tiniest forward motion.
If it feels like you’re going backwards sometimes, that’s okay too. Change isn’t linear. Every day, every experience… even the tough ones, are shaping you and storing new lessons in your brain and your cells. With every moment, you’re evolving. In reality, you’re never truly going backward; you’re accumulating growth that, over time, brings you to a new place entirely.
So, celebrate your small steps. They matter, and they add up to real, lasting transformation.
You Are Allowed to Create Change Your Way – Conclusion on How to Create Change
Please, hear me on this: There’s no “right” way to create change. You don’t have to fast for three days, or take an ice bath, or flip your life upside down unless those things genuinely call to you. Your path to transformation can be gentle, intentional, and joyful. You can trust your own timeline, your own wisdom, and your own boundaries.
It’s time to give yourself permission to ignore the noise and the shock tactics. You can find how to create change that nurtures you rather than depletes you.
If you want to explore this further, especially around Human Design or leadership, I’m here to help. I’m cheering you on, always. Life is such a beautiful, curious ride, and it becomes that much richer when we honor ourselves through the process of growth.
Thank you for being here, for supporting this journey, and for allowing yourself to consider a new way of how to create change. If you know someone who needs this reminder, please share it. Let’s create a movement of gentle, self-led transformation, one mindful step at a time.
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Mind-Body Connection Unlocked Book:
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Previous Episodes You May Enjoy:
The Future Belongs to Authentic Self Expression
Behind the Scenes of Mind Body Connection Unlocked Plus a Reflection Activity
Align Your Mind and Body With This Simple Visioning Exercise
Why Letting Go Is Hard and How to Make It Easier
Egypt and Overcoming My Fear of Heights: A Journey in Personal Transformation
